2.06.2009

music. its what wakes me up in the morning. its what I live for. another day, a new song. an artist that's truly an artist. I love artist who are really artists & who aren't products of their record label. who stay true to themselves. I wish I could sing, but it isn't completely lost bc im not tone deaf... so this year will be a work in progress. I should've started earlier with music & instruments but I will be the best there is. this has to be for me. I want to be a music composer. something I can live for. something I will love. something I can take everything else and forget it with. something that will be me... just me. music is all I need. to be the best I can be I can't focus on superficial things. I have to be less image and more music. music only. I have to let go of my life ( or whatever you would like to call it ) and develop no ego. just do me. with no expectations. no ego and stay true for the sound in my heart and what I want it to sound like. to not be fickle. to not be lazy. I know school isn't for me but I will do it to appease ppl. for now. I cannot focus on things that don't matter. I want to be a product of my minds wanderings. the things that make me tick are most important for this yr. to become a recluse. the more alone I get, the better I will work. not being focused ruins all artist. I don't need the money and fame. I just need a piano and a notepad. the greatest artists come out of horrible living conditions. I just want to be.... learn and excel in something for once. I loooove music man you just have no idea. its for me. its been in my heart for so long. music is my everything.



the debarge story is truly interesting . . . you know I never paid them much mind until tonight when I was listening to chico debarge's 'love still good' while surfing the night late last night & wanted to know more about their family. I knew they were a family singing group bc I knew james debarge eloped with janet but I never looked at their family I just knew they were all drug addicts. but wow. we're talking about a family that went thru so much. seriously, im more interested in their story then the jacksons...maybe bc its new to me & I know everything there is to know about the jacksons...or maybe bc it was so sad... it saddens my heart bc this family had it....they were all incredibly talented. it was ridiculous...and all of that got wasted due to circumstances....el debarge could've been sooo much . . .but look what happened to him & you have bobby debarge die of AIDS. horrible. this familys story has really, really touched me in more ways then one & I suggest if u don't know it. you need to. its just so much that has happened to those kids. it saddens me to see great talent wasted which why it bothers me so much that tupac, B.I.G., aaliyah, & left eye died. I literally take it personally. these ppl could've accomplished even more & the debarges seem dead. . . soo much talent. its incredible & their music really influenced a lot of the songs we've heard in the past 10 yrs. it just makes me want to be something . . . for me before its too late bc u just don't know. . . if you have an idea or a thought or a mission . . .you need to pursue it. I have a feeling that I have so much inside of me that I need to get out. idk how to explain it but I know its there. & im even more aware of it in the last yr of my life ... more than I always been bc this has been in me for so long.... wish me luck bc I am going somewhere hopefully. I will work hard.

RIP bobby debarge, tupac, notorious big, aaliyah, left eye, bernie mac & all the others that shouldn't of died so soon.


heres one of their songs. i know you would enjoy this di, if you don`t have it already i`ll send it to you on aim lol.

"stay with me"


"i like it"




a lot of ppl sampled their music but they don`t own the publishing it`s ridiculous. like A LOT of ppl. well ahh. =/

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