it`s time for me to blog already? geez. time flies when you`re doing nothing.
anyways, i want to bring up the intricate & complicated topic of sex. i would like to take my time on this . . . because sex is all about taking your time right? time to relax & put in some random neo-soul song & let my emotions & feelings of this topic flow . . .
i don`t want to come at this topic in a conventional sense, but why do we care so much about something that`s only temporary? i would like to think of sex in the same category as people caring more about material items . . . if that makes sense? no. well anyways, sex is as natural as us using the bathroom or breathing, essentially, but so many of us are so ashamed of the act. we are all brought up according to our gender. males are taught to be the aggressor & "conquer" women . . . but women are taught to be innocent & docile. now don't get me wrong, you have your few who definitely do not fit that. i feel like us as women, have to hide our sexuality because if we just broadcasted it openly, we would be looked down upon. i personally get sick of having to sensor myself, oneday, i want to just be & be more open with my sexuality (haha more than i already am) about what i like & don`t like. but i will get there oneday.
well anyways, people make a huge deal about sex. man, i have had my moments, like us all, & mannn, i`m still in my moments! haha, but i know when to turn it on & off & not let sex run my emotions or determine my actions, because at the end of the day, it may not be worth it. sex can get you 'caught up' with someone. you begin to feel all of these confusing emotions & then you`re like . . . 'where the FUCK did this come from?!'. that`s what i said when i thought it was something else. but sex with love makes situations so difficult, but a lot of us put ourselves in these situations at a young age, not realizing the consequences. i don`t regret having sex, which is a first compared to most young women who lose their virginity & wish it never happened. it was something i wanted for so long & i had been holding out for it to be with someone i legitimately cared about & not have it just be supeficial. it was some kind of special to me . . . . which i feel like a freaking sap for saying that but it was (& also i just don`t understand have people can 'mess' with people they aren`t even attracted to!!). i don`t personally recommend people jumping at the chance to have sex though, because sex will always be around . . . at the drop of your fingertips or the snap of a finger (especially for women & even men who are attractive). i`m not going to let myself get caught up over a simple feeling. i will not allow myself to have sex with someone i just don`t care about. it`s just not who i am. we as people, us as BLACK people, should conduct ourselves with more respect then that. our bodies are special & the more people you let 'in' or put yourself in (hardy har har), diminish the temple that our bodies are. & i`m not all on the bible talk, but you want others to respect & admire you, well first you have to respect yourselves first & treat yourself with dignity. true we are all young once, but looking back at everything would it really be worth it? sex is serious business, in all honestly. nothing to play with, so if you are going to engage in it, make sure to be safe about it. don`t make the same mistakes that so many people have made. don`t become another teenage statistic. use a condom, dental dam, whatever the hell you`re doing just be safe & have fun & make sure it`s something that you truly want to do & are able to deal with because the emotions that come with having sex are sometimes too much to deal with at such a young age. i am always one to say is that we`re too young to be tied down, but we have to smart. if you aren`t sexing someone you have no feelings for be smart. i`m all about having fun & i realize that whatever person i decide to "make it official with" will not be perfect. especially at this age. . . especially males, they`re so immature at this age & have no idea with what they`re doing. people make mistakes, they aren`t perfect. they may think they have themselves figured out but they do not. some go about things so wrong, they can`t even begin to get it right, even if they wanted to, which i believe is unintentional. we`re young. give people a time to grow. . . a time to mature, before you engage in too mature feelings. if you do want a relationship, you have to let it grow, nurture it. it takes time. trust me i know. you can`t just expect things to be all peachy. people are difficult & complicated & different. you have to put in work. show them you really care. just don`t let it BE, DO something about it. do something sweet for the person you care about with expecting nothing in turn, because if you truly care, it`s worth it. we`re so young, we have our whole lives to look forward to & there`s never too late to try to fix things, right?
hope i wasn`t to hypocritical & hope you understand.
(btw, i`m working on not being so judgmental. it`s an everyday process, gah i have no respect for people who sleep around though but bleeehh different topic for a different day).
& with that, as Markiss says, 'i`m out like i`m new.'
hardy har har.
<3 em.
me looking ugly with the same fucking facial expression with faux snakebites. lol
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