2.06.2009

february air.

hmm,
people always say 'make the best of your senior year'
i think that pretty much sets you up for preparing to be tackled by some shit.
not for all people,
but for some.

i mean you would wanna enjoy your last year b/c it is your LAST year in high school.
it's like the year that you should prepare your self for big changes.

i think this is the year to actually see if i can handle some of the unbearable punches that are gonna be thrown at me.

EM told me b4 that the problems that your having now are NOTHING compared to what you'll have to deal with as time goes on.

like wtf?
it gets worst?
but this shit'll make me stronger in the long run.

so today EM thrust me with her oh so good words that i love! <3
lol, i like locked every text msg.

i think i forget that i'm a little diffrent from the 4crew.
it's really getting to that point where i kinda feel like the odd ball in a way.
like i'm starting to realize that we do have diff interest,
and what they find fun, i don't.

like there could be times when all of them are talking and i just sit there.
and those times are becoming more and more often.
of course it isn't always like that...
there are times where i do enjoy their company.
[i.e wednesday.]

but our differences clash big time.

i guess it never occurred to me b4, b/c i never really thought on it.

&maybe b/c i was mostly w/ EM.

so she was telling me that i connect better with people are a little off.
and the 4 i more so like abp.
[i abbreviated it b/c i thought it sounded rude, lol]

&i think she's right,
i mean look at her!
look at di!

other than them i kinda wanna be to myself.
but i hate being lonely,
i'm just not used to it.
&when i do keep to myself, just for a bit, niggas think i'm depressed and shit.
smh.

but i believe a distance should be made.

ahh, but 3 more months and all of this won't matter anymore.
thats my motivation.

peace<3
-en.

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