Life.

Let me just say this right now as a forewarning. I am highly upset and aggravated. Why you ask? Well let me list the 2 events that are currently pulling at my collar.

1. Prom bullshit
2. Track shit
   

Let me start off with #2 for now because it will be the shortest of the two. I really dont feel like talking about it but there are a few things I must get off my chest before I continue. So Friday afternoon after practice we were waiting outside the building. I was just there with Kitty until her ride got there and then I left, but anyway...some kids from my team were throwing snowballs at each other and having a good time. So Mr. Williams comes out of nowhere and pulls up and is just sitting there...everyone is just like wow this is weird. I could see him writing something down on paper so I knew we were going to get in trouble for something, I just didnt know what. Snowballs? No couldn't be...thats just plainly ridiculous.

So today Jackson tells us to meet him in the weight room, I had forgot all about Friday because I just brushed it off. So we get in there and I find out we got introuble for sitting at the school after practice...and you wanna know who snitched? Stupid ass Mr. Williams. So the whole team got fussed at and the ppl who were throwing snowballs had to go to Mrs. Pasteur (principal) and Mr. Williams (vice principal) to apologize. I wasnt throwing snowballs, but because I was there Jackson forced me to apologize. I was really furious and I wanted to curse him out, but I just swallowed my pride and apologized. So heres why I'm upset...I've been on this team for 4 years now. We've sat outside the school everyday after practice and this is the first time we got introuble for sitting outside. Mr. Williams' is a fucking ass. I swear...I've never seen someone so much as an asshole as him. It changed my mood for the whole practice to the point where I didn't even feel like running because it was some bull crap.

You know what...fuck this damn section. I'm moving on because I dont feel like ranting anymore...what's done is done and I just need to get over it.

#1 issue of the month - PROM

This is really stressing me out because I'm stuck between two really good friends basically battling it out. It's like...one is quiet and the other is basically straight forward so you could only imagine how this works out. This tri-relationship is really like a see-saw with both of them at the end. One point I'm really connecting with En and the next moment it's with Kitty. Then they both are making each other jealous and they're crying and all this crap man...it's too much for me. One part of me tells me to leave both of them alone...and that is probably the best thing to do, however curiosity always gets the best of me. Right now I'm really feeling it with Kitty. The relationship with En and I is just awkward and I don't get it at all. Maybe she feels a different way, but I just feel like we're good friends and that's it. I dont feel as though i receive affection from her at all...nothing really goes on between us. I think that I'm too experienced in the relationship area for her. It's just like...I've already experienced the going out, having sex, kissing, telling someone that ily. It seems like she's just so nervous to do things that it just turns me off, plus I feel as though if I were to take control of the relationship I would be taking it too fast. I think she needs a bit more experience and opening up if we want to take the relationship that we have past just being friends and having a mutual attraction. There's a large experience gap between both of us that needs to be filled.

That versus Kitty, I think she's more around my speed. She has some experience under her belt and she can talk about some of the more uncomfortable things that I would feel a bit bad talking to En about. Plus I see her a lot on the regular so thats always a plus. The only thing that I have experienced is that she can get a bit too carried away when theres an issue. She'll lie and manipulate people to get her way. Other than that I think Kitty would be a pretty good potential girlfriend.

Onto the real issue now. This whole prom ordeal. So I had no idea that En wanted to ask me out to prom, if you havent been counting on your calendar then let me tell you that Prom is only 2 months away. I was planning on going alone if no one asked me because I didn't want to spend extra money, plus I have another prom to attend the week before our prom so Imma be promed out by the time mine comes plus broke as shit lol. So En and Kitty are having this big old fued over prom...and I can understand why En is mad because now she has to worry about finding another prom date and all that crap. Yet she feels decieved by Kitty because she didn't tell her and this isn't the first time that something like this has happened. I really dont know what to say about anything because I wasnt aware of any of this. I dont even remember how Kitty and I established that we were going to prom together...I doubt that one of us just came up to the other and said "hey be my prom date" if I try to remember I think it was actually a mutual agreement between us both. So it's like you can't just be mad at one person, you have to be mad at both because it takes two to do anything. However, I dont think En should be furious about what happened...its just prom. I was going to go on into this furious rant but Im getting sleepy and I dont feel like it. Theres nothing we can do to go back in time and change what happened. It's done with so we just have to accept what it is and move on, although the process might not be as easy as I make it seem.

- DI

woe is not me.