my 19 bday.

oh yeah me & my sister patched things up of course. it was a manifestation of stress i`ve been dealing with for a loooong time ge`ez. i guess i`m just great at covering things up. oh yeah idk if i discussed in my vlog but i`m like part Jamaican my grandparents are from there but they`ve been living in the US for longer. haha isn`t that something. my bday was awesome though. thank you guys for all the love!

btw, i said i wasn`t gonna post on emkaydien for awhile, but that didn`t last for long. 

DI! you need to get it together right now! our formation is all effed up, haha.

but anyhoot,

talk to you guys later,

also, someone took my earbuds i dropped them i was soo upset =[.

OH FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.COM/EMJAYOATH

- EM.

okayyy... 

En here and i'm just stopping by to say ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING.....

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY EM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<33333333333333333333333333333

333333333333333333333333333333

333333333333333333333333333333

333333333333333333333333333333

hell YEAH;

that was fuckin called for[!]

peace<3

-en. =]

fishbots? O.o

i just heard of something uber exciting!

there are these things called fishbots right! 

& they randomly connect you with someone

without seeing your SN! now it was really

weird at first but after i simply googled the

sn i figured out what was going on. it`s so

cooool! it`s all because my twitter URL is

the same as my sn, so whoa (sp?) is me.

this is pretty awesome! i`m gonna be

having sooo much fun with this!!

mostly bc i am a creep that likes to talk to

any stranger & give my phone

number to anyone. smh.

read more here:

CLICK.

control myself.

i think i`m becoming increasingly mature.

the jokes that my friends make. i don`t find them to be funny anymore. i have to feign laughter. but i don`t find the dumb things they do to be funny anymore. i force myself to laugh. i want to find it funny, but i just don`t anymore. this goes for everyone. i don`t know what`s going on with me. maybe it`s because i`m about to be 19 years old, but i find it to be irritating. matter of fact, i find a lot of things to be irritating. i don`t want to become an old lady & lose my humor, but it`s so hard to fake laughter at things i don`t find funny anymore. maybe this is inevitable but it`s throwing me off. i don`t seem to have this problem with friends my age ..it`s just the ones that are in high school, or maybe it seems that way bc that`s the majority of my friends. i`m noticing that i`m having a more dry sense of humor. maybe this year at college as really changed me: i wanted to change my look, how i acted, it changed. like i was semi-annoyed at the ruby tuesday dinner. it`s not that you guys aren`t funny but a lot of the things that i use to find funny that you guys did, don`t really make me laugh anymore. like more or less, the dumb acting. i do it too, but i don`t find it funny. the fact that i am not amused anymore, is really throwing me off. i want to find it funny. i know i am very, very irritating. sometimes the act i put on REALLY annoys my fucking self, but i don`t know how else to be. i think i`m turning into a laid back person. . . which i hope so, but maybe that`s what happens when you mature? the jokes are still funny to me but the dumb acting really isn`t. . . i don`t know i`ve been noticing this for awhile & i fake laugh at a lot of people, but maybe i should just be upfront & stop faking right? maybe i`m thinking too much, but i feel like an entirely different person since i stepped forth on that podium on june 1st, 2008. who i am is . . . . not who i was & that`s a good thing but i get so lost & depressed & i can usually cover it up in a matter of minutes bc i am not a stickler for any kind of emotion . . . it`s just really hard sometimes that i want to cry, but i can`t just bring myself to do it. i am lost in what i want to do with my life & it`s a real problem.

& sometimes i don`t think i`m the same person. i feel like i am self-absorbed & selfish. i want to change so bad. i want to be a better person but it`s so freaking hard. it`s so many things going on under the surface, that i want to address, but i just can`t. i`ve just been very, very irritated lately. maybe that`s stress? i wouldn`t know because i really don`t worry about a lot of things. i just get sick of it all & i sometimes need my space from everything. like, i really hate texting sometimes because i want to be completely alone. when i`m at home, i like to lay in the bed & think for hours about everything but i don`t get the same luxury at school which is why i go insane. & whats so fucked up is that sometimes i get insanely lonely in the late night & being that it`s so late, i probably only have like one person (not counting my roommate) to talk to, to fill that void. i decide to not have much human contact now. i like it better that way. i hope that whatever i`m changing into it`s for the better. but i feel like i`m becoming something i don`t want to be. now let me say this phone thing is annoying. i find solace in talking with like two people on the phone other than that i get annoyed unless i am in a talking mood & that is so fucking selfish, but i can`t help but hate talking on the phone. i think it hinders my attention span when i`m online & that`s very annoying. not to mention that boys annoy my motherfucking life & i find almost everything in life to be overrated, shallow, or irritating. 

i`m just very irritated & i need this year to be over in the hopes that i will regain my sense of self & figure out how to get out of these mind-boggling situation/s.

anyhoot, i`m finished with that.

maybe my sense of humor has changed because i am ultimately unhappy with the situation/s i`m in? idk, but i find myself to be extremely angry & irritated most of the time.

-EM.

heyy kay finally made a blogspot[!]

desstretchnuts.blogspot.com

he didn't type anything thooo.
tisktisk. =]

idkwhattottitlethissoi'mnotgivingitatitle. =]

yes, yes...i know i'm jii late.

buttttttt, i've just been busy and lazy.

ehh, i'm actually starting to hate getting on the cpu.

but i kinda miss AIM and stufff.

i've just been stuck on this whole twitter thing.

lol, it's so pointless but i just like updating the shit.

follow meeeeee:

twitter.com/natx3

but anywhoooo,

i did make a viblog a couple of days ago.

so i will be posting that along w/ some typingggg.

ahhh, the ride to altoona was death.

i had to pee the whole FUCKIN time!

ughh, i felt like my bladder was gonna explode.

it hurt so baddd. lol.

but bam,

everything went swell.

my house is nifty and it's like 15 minutes away from my school.

yooooo, &it's right down the street from a pizza hut!

heaven.

yahyah,

my mom is so anxious about me going to college and stuff.

not b/c she can get rid of me lol, but i guess b/c i'm like the first born, first one to go to collegeeeee.

mannn, i look at this as being such a big step.

it's like i'm sure college isn't gonna be like HS at alllll.

i'm so nervous and anxious but i still have this unfortunate feeling that my decision is wrong.

i'm sure it's my nerves but how do i know penn state was a right decision?

ehhhh, i'm not gonna think on it much.

HS couldn't go by any slower.

i can't wait to get outtttttt.

i'm so fed up.

i just think of little shit that aggravates me everyday.

but hmmm, i guess i can deal with it for now.

i like the flow of things, and i hope it keeps improving.

umm, so yeah. 

reality kicked in on me and i realized i need to start working a little moree than my norm 2 days.

agahhhh, but i'm only gonna add 2 more days in, &that's starting during the summer.

that'll give me a niice check.

i have PLANNNSSSSS.

Ooo, and 3/4 of emkaydien minus di =/ went out to ruby tuesdays friday.

that was my first time going there.

tisktisk.

so our fricken side picture thing can be updated somewhatish.

PEEP this:

EM turns 19 in like 5 days.

yipeee<3

bitches they come they go.

our personal blogs.

i`m just going to take this time to post links to our personal blogs if you`re interested:

Em : emjaysworld.blogspot.com note: i will take this one off of private as soon as i correct some things.

Di : sexxneverlies.blogspot.com

En : thisspilledcanvas.blogspot.com

i`m gonna start posting on my own blog more even though i find this one to be more interesting but mehhh, =]. make sure you subscribe & follow these blogs.

- EM. 

adventures with (c)asshole #1.

i had written a long blog, but it became entirely too personal so i had to do away with it. sigh oh well so enjoy this random video & here`s a bunch of random pictures.

 

(doesnt that toothpaste look like a penis? lol)

- EM.

mind over body.

beautiful. whew. okay i made up my mind finally geez. i made a long other post, however, i didn`t know if i should post it or not bc it was pointless & too confusing, so i deleted it & then made a new post again. i need to live my life better & really believe that my mind controls everything i do.

anyhoot,



columbus short. =]


i will make a real blog later. i have topics swirling in my head that i`ve been taking notes on.

Iight Fools

Hey you guys! Di here and Im ready to rock and roll on ya mafuckas. I've been listening to 2Pac lately. I just like the intro song to the Don Killuminati album and thats it lol. It sounds weird but I like it. Heyy I made a video blog for today but I'm not going to upload it until someone else uploads their video blog. Well anwyay Im guessing since Klawonn changed seats in En's period he's going to do the same in mine. I'm guessing he wants to do something new, but he can't move me somewhere that I can be productive because I know just about everyone in the class lol. He'll probably surround me with a bunch of dead beat weed head guys and Im gnna have to annoy the fuck out of him and them so that he can change me. I already know whatever he has in store for me isn't good...gosh sometimes it sucks to be me lol. But hey...in order to get ahead in life you have to pull some strings right?

Movies and media teach you that the good win and evil loses...when in actuality thats wrong. The Good lose and Evil win. Think of it, have you ever been in a situation when you do everything right and yet the lazy ass person next to you gets whatever you wanted regardless of how hard you worked? And the only reason why they got it was because they knew someone on the inside? It's a bunch of bullshit man I swear, but thats the way you have to operate or you wont be better off than the others around you. Theres always the good way, but the bad side always has more benefits. The only con I could say is that when you fall...you fall HARD. However, if you play the game right you'll never fall...and if you do then you'll be prepared for the fall so that you'll bounce right back up on your feet.

I have befriended Klawonn not because I want to be his friend, its because I want to get good grades. I know it's impossible for me to pay attention in his class because the people around me and Klawonn himself are distractions for me. Math is my least favorite subject as well so we'll have to do something very interesting or I'll just have to be feeling productive that day for me to just sit there and pay attention but um yeah...I dont want the blog to be too long so I will stop here. Bye ppl.

**ayy I havent changed the color of my blog, I just added a gradient type color to it lol.**

- DI

ily

viva la emkaydien<3

um, so yeah.

i didn't wanna be the lamo to mess up the flow so

itchibannncrisscrossnuts.

imma hit ya'll up with my little blog for real.

my day:

it was actually pretty slow and tiring.

i couldn't wait for it to be over.

1st period sucked b/c klawonn gave us new seats.

2nd period sucked until me and pb decided to call random people during class.

lmfao, they were getting mad.

ahahahaha,

*points at roland &kevon*

facial expressions to die for.

urm, lunch was eh.

it's been better.

hood rats galoreee.

ya feel me?

ahehe.

3rd period was intriguing &lame at the same time.

that damn bacteria video made me wanna shoot myself.

and lastly, my aiddddd.

went by so swiftly.

i was busy like the whole time.

cake.

so yeah, 

after school cia ditched me and didn't ride the bus.

boo.

i came home, took a nap.

&left back out to go to the school and take my cap and gown pics.

they actually came out niice.

other than the one when the cap was on my head.

ehhh.

my hair is finally starting to grow on me.

smh, about damn time.

so then we jumped on the beltway,

got taco bell and went home.

yitideeee.

ahh, but thanks siggy and di!

thee madre is tryna work something out with me.

my gpa's are being annoying and stubborn.

tisk.

so i'm about to attempt to curl the back of my head.

lol, so hasta whenever. =]

*you notice we're all switching up the colors in our blogs?

agah*

peace<3 

-en.

OH YEAH!

that corbin pic is the sexxx!

my top 10 of the hottest celebrity guys & en.

10. Andre3000: his talent is amazing. i had a very, very brief obsession with him. he is one of my favorite hip-hop artists of all time. i think he`s the other half of OutKast that makes sense or gives you that longing for something different or conscious.

9. Shemar Moore. i`ve had a crush on him since before i can remember. he is gorgeoussssss! ge`ez. his acting is good too, but his boyish good looks are amazing.

8. Corbin Bleu. so cheesy, but he has so much potential. i had to include him. he definitely needs a new stylist though because it was very hard trying to find a picture of him that weren`t questionable. i love the way he speaks though. it`s so amazingly proper & i liked him even before Jump In! came out. given the right circumanstances, he could really be on his way.

7. Tupac Shakur. i am never, ever, ever attracted to 'thug' types, but 2Pac did something right. he might of been a paranoid fucker, but he was a very talented guy. he made it cool for thugs to have nose rings. something about Tupac is so appealing to me, even to this day. he essentially had the whole package. & hmph, faith says she never had sex with him. yeah right. RIP Tupac Shakur. Mackavelli lives on<3.

6. Usher has fell off to me. i remember being 7 years old playing 'My Way' over, & over, & over. in fact, that was probably the first CD i ever had. my cousin Christina gave me the CD once she found out how big of a fan i was. i use to watch Moesha just to see him playing his character 'Jeremy'. i went to go see She's All That & The Faculty just because he was starring in them when they came out. my usher obsession has really subsided due to circumstances.  i still follow his career but not the way i would have if he had put more effort in his new music. aside from all of that, usher is a very talented guy. he has some of the best sex songs on this planet that i can just play over & over again. his voice is very soothing to me & i love R&B crooners. i love usher for forever & ever. <3

5. Brian J. White. i can`t quite put my finger on it, but i find him to be amazing sexy. i can`t really tell you what it is though, but i like him, & i love watching movies with him in them.

4. Chris Brown. Ge`ez i don`t know what`s so appealing about Chris Brown now, but i hope he keeps doing it. every since he started dating Rihanna, his style has gone up. he looks more mature now & not like the goofy, langly, 16 year old boy we were introduced to 4 years ago. Chris Brown is sexy. he is the best dancer out there in the entertainment world. everytime i watch him dance, i am utterly amazed. & let`s not forget, he looks amazing in a suit. & on a darker note, i feel the media needs to ease up on him some, but that is an entirely different blog.

3. Jared Leto. wow. whatever look he sports, he is gorgeous in it. from looking like Jesus, to a lead singer of a band, Jared Leto has it. he has the voice of a god & is very fashionable. he went from being an actor, to a respectable rocker that writes his own music. that`s amazingly awesome.

 

2. Maxwell. i loveeee this man. his voice is very soulful & intense. what a shocker that he isn`t number 1, but number 2 is good enough. i can`t even describe what is appealing about this man, but it`s everything. he is very lowkey & doesn`t feel a need to throw his talents or good looks in everyone`s face. this man writes & composes 98% of his music. he went from being a waiter in Manhattan to what he is now. an explosion of a genre. he is one of the reasons why we have neo-soul today. he is a force. who can go away for 8 years, come back with NO single, & sell out venues? Maxwell (& Michael Jackson, but mehhhhhh). 

1. Columbus Short. OMG. OMG. OMG. i never revealed how fine & gorgeous i thought he was, but i watch Stomp the Yard, just for him. i can`t put in words about how beautiful this man is. it`s something about him that is so poised & well put together. i can`t deny his sexy. i am enamored with Columbus Short. i want to see him in even more movies, but he is definitely a force that will get greater with time. he is beautifullllll, not to mention his body is on point, yessir.

i wanted to include Michael Jackson, but he is on a list all of his own <3./center>

anyhoot, on to En. 

i think that you should continue going to PSU.

you already paid your money, what`s the point now?

like Di said, all the good colleges are gone. you don`t

even have to live with your mom if you don`t want to

bc Philly is very affordable with their housing. anyways,

i know you have to leave MD, but i`m gonna miss you oodles.

you are the piggy to my siggy. <3 

but do what`s good for you. don`t let your family convince you

to do something that you don`t want to do because at the end

of the day, you are your own person & you have to do what

you feel is right for you. besides who the freak wants to go 

to a college where they don`t know anyone??? that really

sucks when you`re shy anyways. it`s hard opening up & 

meeting people & going to a school where you`re lonely

does not make any sense at all. 

piggy<33333.

-em.

R. Kelly - Honey Love

Bomb First + *torture (EN)

We've been on the grind with our blogs lol...it feels kinda good. Im not going to do a video blog today because I dont want to overrate it. Sundays are always a drag for me because I don't have anything to do, most people want to stay in the house because it's just socially accepted to do so. Once I get my ls on the 21st I wont have to worry about all this crap although i'll probably be at work because I really need the money now more than anything. Im going to add up my expenses for the following months. I add about $40 to every fee for food expenses.

Penn Relays - $180
Patapsco Prom - $140
Randallstown Prom - $220

= $540

not a lot...but man Im dead broke right now and I can't afford anything lol. I guess 2 weekends of work will make up for that. *sigh* I really dont want to go back to work because I hate doing the same old thing everytime I go in. Box Office every single time even though they have the option to schedule me to do 2 other jobs. I hate AMC...I loved going to the movies but working there has absolutely ruined the movie-going experience for me. Even when Im not working and I go there to see a movie I feel like I'm at work. lol.

Okay so to address your issue En, Im sad that youre going to another State next year! That means when we come home from break we wont be able to hang! Thats a freakin bummer mann. Oh well, at least you'll be 45 mins away so I'll be able to come and visit you during school! Woo hoo. Well anyway...En it's too late for you to transfer to another school of quality like Penn State. Trying to get into a good school right now is pretty much slim to none, most good colleges have closed their applications so you'll be left with a) community colleges or b) wack colleges. Although theres nothing wrong with that I doubt any of them will be better than Penn State. I dont get the reasoning for you having to change schools anyway, like you said regardless you'll be in a different State anyway so it just doesnt make sense. Maybe they want you to transfer so that you'll be closer to your Mother. IDK where you guys are moving to though so it all depends on location.

It's about time that you stop sacrificing everything for other people and do some things for yourself. These days you can't do anything without a degree so going to college is important...a good college at that. Plus PSU will look good on your resume when you go out to look for work. I'd just say weigh out the pros and cons of transfering schools and make your decision based on that. Peronsally I dont see any reason to transfer schools...you already paid for it and everything so you already have your foot in the door. No need to take a step back.

- DI

I really miss you!! ILY!!

in the beginning.

ughhh,

this is gonna be really short b/c i'm mad, my sis bf is here [ughhh]

i'm tired &i just wanna die in my bed.

i just got home from work and gawdd was it torcher.

crowded sundays make me hate wegmans.

at least i don't have to work nxt sunday b/c i'm going to penn state!

ughhh, now speaking of penn state.

so because of my stupiddd but tragic situation,

me, the madre and the sis are moving to a diff state nxt year when my gpa's go back to trinidad.

now even though i dislike the fact that we have to move,

i'm for it b/c we HAVE to move.

but the thing that blew me is my gpa's tryna get me to transfer to a diff college.

like wtfh?

i didn't even place a finger in the fucking school yet and they want me to transfer.

so all day b4 i went to work,

&on the ride back home i'm getting lectured.

they're saying shit like.

'do this for your mother'

'you can't go to that school if something happens to your mother'

'if you don't agree with your mother, it'll be on your conscience'

tryna drop the mother bombs and shit.

likeeeee, 

i don't fuckin understand.

even if we were to stay in MD i would still be in a diff state,

so why the hell do i have to transfer?

like em, di do you see a fuckin reason? 

b/c i dont.

ughblehfucksmurfshit

this blog is getting longer than intended.

but like really,

they can suck my dick.

i'm not transferring.

hmph.

>;o

peace <3

-en